But being out here is making me so lonely,’ I tell her. ‘You will always have me- forever,’ she tries to reassure me. ‘But your not… It’s not the same as…’ I stop myself. I have an impulse to try and protect her feelings even though I know she doesn’t have any. ‘I know. I know its not the same,’ she tries to put emotion in her voice but it doesn’t work. It is too forced. Then she makes efforts to touch me. I don’t want that. She sees this and stops herself. It is at times like this that she doesn’t know what to say. Even mind reading doesn’t help. She isn’t used to my sensitivity and never will be. At last she says, ‘I do try.’ Her words are mistimed. They make me feel even more awkward. Judging when to say things is an instinct she doesn’t possess. ‘Shall I get back to work, Alex, or do you want to talk some more?’ Nobody else in the universe could get away with a question like this and I know I’d be a fool to answer. Plus, I’m beginning to feel real bad. ‘Were you using the alien. I almost fainted. He slipped his finger into my cunny and moved it back and forth. I shuddered and gushed juice and I was in heaven. I knew that I had had my first orgasm. Other older girls had told me about a girls orgasm but I thought they were fibbing.He got a horse blanket and laid it on some bales of hay. He pushed me down and spread my legs apart making my girlhood ready to be penetrated. I shook with anticipation and he stripped naked in the barns soft light. He put his peter in me and it hurt when he broke my hymen. I floated past the pain and into sweet exotic heaven.It was over only too quickly when he shot a huge load of sperm into my willing hole. He pulled me to my feet and we kissed. Charly begged me not to tell anyone and I remembered the words. WOMEN MUST SHARE THEIR LIFE WITH A MAN AND TEND TO HIS NEEDS.I was tending to Gharly's needs and I liked it. We then dressed and went back to the house.Mrs Snow ask me if I liked the horses. I told her that Satan was.
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