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But that was some timeago and long behind her. Liberty was a psychiatrist now and I was herboyfriend."Wait a minute! This is ridiculous, Dad. You are 100 miles away. Youhave no idea where I am or where I am going," I told my him in my head,knowing I would never say this to him in real life. How had I come tothink Dad was omnipresent?It was then I suddenly realised that I had been having these conversationswith my father for as long as I could remember.Dad died around two days later.A week later I lost my job.I didn't know it then but I realise now that I had depression. It'slogical now isn't it? My manhood was being stripped away from me.That night I rowed with Liberty about something trivial, I have no ideawhat it was now, and she went up to bed. I fell asleep on the sofawatching some stupid reality tv programme which consisted of vacuous minorcelebrities sitting around talking about something which you couldn't evenhear because the programme maker in his or her wisdom had. Jean told her everything she could remember; which left Julie also completely baffled. “So you can remember walking home then nothing” Julie mused trying to make sense of it all. “It’s obvious you have had one hell of a fucking; something along the lines of a gangbang”. “Yes I know we joke about doing things like that Julie, but I never would”. “It’s got to be date rape that’s the only answer” Julie said convincingly. “But I would have remembered the beginning of the date; and all that money I have a month’s wages in that handbag”. “In the shower I will help you; we can try to figure all this out later”. Julie phoned up work for her to say she would be off for a while with a bad flu. “You must go to the doctors for a check up; you don’t know who has been fucking you” “It’s going to be really wonderful trying to explain why I need the check up; he will think I am a right slut”. “Just say you had unprotected sex with a guy and you need to put your mind at rest; he’s a doctor he.
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