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Oh, sorry, I shouldn’t talk like that to you, I’m not making you awkward am I?”“No, no, it’s fine,” you reply awkwardly. Even if you did find it easy to talk to women you doubt you would have been finding this comfortable.“I guess you understand, I doubt you have got your dick wet in a while, what with how things are. Heh, I guess what I really want is a babysitter for me than the kids, one to look after me.”You don’t know what to say to that so you just sip your wine, though in your head you think, wouldn’t that be a male prostitute? You notice that Jade has stopped talking, and glancing over at her you realise she is sat there on the settee staring at you with a weird look.“Would you ever consider doing something like that, John?” she asks you, a rather intense tone to her voice.“What do you mean?”“Exactly what I said, would you consider doing what a woman told you to, providing ‘services’ to someone in return for money.” A faraway look crosses Jade’s face. “It would be clear what. Here, people are cold, just like the weather. I never met any of my neighbors.I tried to make friends a couple times, but I had on two or three sweatshirts and thick sweat pants because I was freezing. Those girls laughed at me. Another time I was creepy because I was trying to be friendly to the wrong people. They didn’t laugh, but it hurt more.I kept trying, though.I don’t give up easily.By the end of the school year, I hadn’t made any friends. I was mad. I yelled at Mom and Dad a lot. I slammed the door to my room so many times the doorframe cracked. We fought constantly.Ceci was okay, at least. She made friends. But she always had time to spend with me, too.I love my sister.She loved me, too.Sorry.I was diagnosed with bipolar one at the start of my junior year. I spent the last month of that summer furious. I barely slept. It was like I couldn’t stop being angry at everything. Nothing held my attention, either. People were too slow, movies and TV were too slow, and books were out.
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