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'Well, ' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy MaryMother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quicklyDUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We. My mother and sister knew I wanted to be a girl, but not my father. All I ever wanted to do was all the normal things a girl would do. Take a walk outside, go out with boys, go to a dance, whatever. My father worked second shift came home and went to bed about midnight. I use to lay in bed waiting for him to go to sleep. Once he did I would get up get my cloths that I had hidden, get dressed real sexy and sneak out the back door. I'd wear my high heels, silk stocking, a nice wig that I saved up for, and I had this real tight dress I would wear. It was so tight I could bearley walk in it. I could only take little steps. Each night I went out I walked a little further, till one night I made it all the way down to the boulevard 5 blocks away. I was just about to turn around and come home when a bright light shined on me. My first thought was to run, but I couldn't do that in the heels and tight dress, so I started to walk up a sidewalk to someone's house, when I heard a voice say..
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