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I was disgusted with myself, but that couldn't have any effect on my thinking or actions. In other human terms, I had to forgive myself now, and try to resolve it later. I did just that. Sitting at the foot of my bed and looking out over the street. I just said to myself, "You have done worse girl. Maybe this is the worst thing you have done to yourself, but by far it isn't the worst thing you have done overall. You will get past the self loathing, you always have. Put it behind you and get your eye back on the job at hand." And I did just that.I sat there looking at the occasional cop car, or work truck roll past my window and I charged my power pack. After I got to the full stage, I switched to the MP3 player and listened to classical music till dawn. I had no idea to who or what I was listening, but it was nice music. I had downloaded something called 'Classical Music 4 Five AM." That title would never do for an album cover, but it was a nice sound at 5AM.At 8AM on a dreary. "Whoa! Don't hurt yourself, Young Alan!" said Charlie, grinning honestly."Happy sweet sixteenth, man!" beamed Joseph, his mouth hanging open asalways."He's seventeen, you disgraceful excuse for a human brain," mumbled Tommyquietly, nursing his drink carefully.Joseph who didn't even hear Tommy, gave Charlie a casual nudge on thearm, "I can't believe how much turned up, I mean almost all of our entireyear is here and on the plus side, have seen all of the hot skirt heretonight?!" Yeah, it's pretty amazing," said Charlie, not exactly caring very much."The women here are as hot as the flames of hell," mumbled Tommy, hiseyes shining through his hairy face as he coyly stared into his glass."Well, it's not exactly like I know half of the people here," saidCharlie, shrugging his shoulders. "I mean, they're all Rachel's friends!" Who cares, mate! Besides, you might even get laid tonight, now you'relegal and stuff!" nodded Joseph, slapping an invisible woman's rear."I dunno about that," said.
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