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"It all started when we were in Turkey..."I told Cindy everything that happened in the last three weeks. I told her about getting drunk at the USO, the trip to the Compound, the prostitutes, and Jones's ballooning guilt. The whole time she let me talk, just listening to everything that was on my mind. Cindy surprised me at how well she reacted when I told her about my experience with Kasia. Of course, I conveniently left out the part about me losing my virginity in a Turkish brothel.The pizza delivery guy showed up. We each grabbed a slice and returned to the bed while I continued telling my story. Cindy flinched when I got to the part about Bailey having an affair with Edith."You seem pretty upset about what Bailey did." Of course I am! Friends don't fuck with their friend's wives."Cindy pulled away from me and sat on the edge of the bed facing the wall. "You know that I was having an affair with HT1 Woodson during the cruise." Yes, but what does that have to do with Bailey?" Are you. My only explanation for this extraordinary phenomenon is that the second dose of Koli-Kleen must have the ability to tap into the spiritual realm, locate my long dead ancestors and channel the festering content of their ancient intestines through my flaming ass-hole and into the commode. And that leads us to a subject that isnt covered by the Koli-Kleen instructions. Im talking about the smell. Oh my god the smell is incredible. Lets face it, you cant flush out the rotting content of someones intestine without creating some serious atmospheric pollution. Youre probably going to think Im exaggerating but things got so bad at my house, that I actually saw lines of staggering insects abandoning the residence. I also witness our house plants literally wither and die right before my eyes. Even the plastic plants keeled over. Rita could attested to all this but she barricaded herself in the guestroom, stuffed towels into the crack under the door, and refused to come out until it was time.
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