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I noticed a gap in the trees and thinking it could be a decent place to fish if there was a peg so I decided to have a look However I was smoking a bloody good joint and as I threw my leg over the wire, you can guess what happened next, I got the arse of my jeand caught. I tried to pull clear but no I was stuck. I thought fuck it, they were only old jeans and so I pulled hard,. I ripped the buggers right down to my knee, the back of my leg and inner thigh visible to all as the cloth was destroyed.After I went through every swear word that I know I decided that it was easier to go through the bushes than trying to climb over the fence as I was well stoned by then.I was like an amazon tracker trying to get through the morass and my jeans just got ripped down the full length of my leg. Now I was in the shit I go commando at all times and my dick and balls wre loose, enjoying the wonderful fresh air. I couldnt give a fuck any more so I set off home.I got to the country lane. Sergeant Major Goodman accompanied me to Lincoln, and is your newly appointed Regimental Sergeant Major. I apologise for not apprising you of his arrival sooner. RSM Goodman said he would ‘snoop around the place’ before reporting to you.”As he finished speaking, there came a knock at the door, and Casper announced. “Sarn’t Major Goodman to see you, Colonel.”I bade him enter, and the doorway was filled as a huge man, at least two yards tall and nearly the same measurement wide, came into the office.He stamped his feet in a thunderous halt in front of my desk – several pictures fell off the wall — and his arm swept up in a perfect salute.“Sergeant Major Benjamin Goodman reporting for duty, Colonel.”I had to crane my neck to see his face.“Welcome to the Lincolnshire Militia, Mister Goodman.” It was a relatively new courtesy to address Regimental Sergeant Majors as Mister, giving them quasi-commissioned status.He smiled broadly. “I’m right glad to be here, Colonel. You have some.
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