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..Mother knew I was in love with her; I don't know if she knew I actuallywanted to also be her. In any event, she had a way of both flirting withme and feminizing me at the same time. It was an intoxicatingcombination.When done in private, which it usually was, it was bad enough. But whendone in public, it had the effect of both arousing me and mortifying me. As it was, I was completely under her spell. I thought about her day andnight. I was powerless to resist any request she made of me. And everytime she did something in public that made me seem like her sissy son, itjust strengthened that hold on me.Did I enjoy being embarrassed? Well, not in the traditional sense ofpleasure, like eating an ice cream sundae. But the embarrassment alwaysseemed to reinforce the submissiveness I felt towards her. And thatsubmissiveness had an erotic quality to it, which was intenselypleasurable. So, I would end up both mortified and aroused. But usuallynot at the same time.When an. Of this about a third are married with families. Another 25 percent are married without family. Either they're children are grown or they haven't a family started yet. Not all of the spouses are employed by Shadow. If you count children, employees and their non-employee spouses the Shadow family is somewhere between 4000 and 4500 people. And this doesn't take into account the 600 employees at the Whitworth Production plant.All of this is getting to the point that I am responsible for a third of this number for Phantom alone. We've grown in the five and a half years I have been with them. We've also started to spread out from the normal business of War.We've formed a government. Again it is an extension of Shadow. It is a Triumvirate consisting of the Brigade Commander, one elected Representative and one of the Regimental Commanders. Right now it is Colonel Milt Jacobs. For each thousand people one representative is chosen. This person serves without pay for a period of one year with.
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