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That's d**gs.Well, Flat 17 was on d**gs tonight. I'd noticed it with some surprise, just before going down to the courtyard to re-check the fire-escape exit, in case there were still any lowlifes who thought they could force the door inwards, after our new security lighting would have picked them out sharply in full view of two hundred and fifty residents.Soon afterwards - at 02.49 precisely, as I was required to enter in the logbook - my mobile gave a particular signal that one of the smoke-alarms had gone off, and I checked the readout to see which one. It was Flat 17.I guessed at once that it was not a real fire, probably something left on the stove too long. But I had to be sure.As I pressed the bell in the corridor, I could hear the alarm buzzing on-and-off, quite loud, and decided to knock at the same time. Nothing happened, so I rang and knocked again.There was a sort of shuffling noise and some whispering. Then the door opened, just a few inches. I expected to see. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun."These are compliments of DorsetmikeIn the convent a young girl has just reached the end of her novitiate and has an interview withMother Superior;"Do you wish to continue in the faith?" Yes Mother" OK, you will now be able to stop the duties you were tasked with as a novitiate, so that you have more time for your devotions" Oh! may I continue to bath the old abbott?" Why on earth would you want to do that?" Well Mother, he has this marvellous thing between his legs, he told me it was St Peter's finger, I sit on it every night and it's the most heavenly feeling" He said it's WHAT???????? He told me it was Gabriel's horn, I've been blowing it for the last 20 years!The next girl comes in:"Do you wish to continue in the faith?" I'm sorry Mother but no" So what are you going to do?" I've decided to become a prostitute!"Mother Superior fainted When she came round she.
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