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I pride myself on how my girls are presented,” Millicent handed a piece of paper and a pen to Mary.She did not expect Mary to read the contract before signing and nor did she.“You get paid on Fridays. Cash; off the books. I deduct five bob from your first pay for the next four weeks and that pays for your uniform,” Millicent put the signed paper in the desk drawer, butted out her cigarette and put the ashtray away.Her desk was once again pristine.She gave Mary a wan smile and made a shooing motion with her hands.Mary stood but was a little confused.“Is there any training?” Mary asked.Millicent guffawed loudly.“Show off your smile, your tits, your legs and your arse to sell as much as possible from your tray. Don’t complain when the clientele pinch your bottom but don’t let them touch your tits; they know that’s not allowed. Don’t let any of their wives and girlfriends see you flirting with the men. And whatever happens or whatever you are offered, keep your virginity!”“Now fuck off;. Minutes pass, the guy sighs.The dog looks up, and asks, “Do you think the agent was a fan of DiMaggio?”Smoking, drinking, and unmarried sex God visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and unmarried sex if she wants to get into heaven. The woman said she would try her best. God visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on. “Not bad” said the woman, “I’ve given up smoking and drinking but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs, he pulled up my skirt, pulled my panties to one side and made love to me right then and there.” “They don’t like that in heaven,” God said. The woman replied, “They’re not too happy about it in Costco either!”1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn’t!2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.3. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.4. I used to have a handle on life,.
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