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First, women clearly wanted the perfect sexual experience I could provide: no mess, no danger, just the simple profound pleasure their bodies craved but that their rational minds would not allow them to experience with a real person. The repressed passion of that hidden nature occasionally surprised me. I was visiting our local mall and in a crappy mood. It had been a red-letter bad day at work and I was feeling the need to take out my frustration on someone. I found the perfect subject in the food court. College-age, wearing a teal top, white denim mini and silver strapped sandals, this strawberry-blonde had a cherub-like face of pure innocence. She seemed oblivious to the young man ogling her from the next table. I sat down at a small table with a clear view of her primly crossed legs. My initial idea was rather cruel: Initiate a fantasy that would make her uncomfortable. So, with a nasty inner smile, I imagined unbuttoning the top two buttons on her shirt, and pushed the material. A little boy, probably about 10, riding his bicycle as he delivers his paper route. He meets, and starts to spend time with, a little girl in his class. It is all innocent and fun and free. And it was another of my triggers for remembering my darkest incident of my life.I can feel the tears start to form. Here I am. A man of 53 years. Brought to tears by a simple song.There were many tears in our lives that year.Sure, I can write about the neighborhood. The boys and girls running around and playing until dark was coming. Carefree and no worries about strangers lurking in the shadows. They were there. They just hadn't visited our lives yet.No, I will write about the night my mom was done. She packed all of us kids up. Put us into the car. We were leaving. The sins of the father had pushed her to her breaking point. She was leaving him there in that big, 4 bedroom house, and taking us to go live with her parents.My sister has the clearest memories of this. I do not remember it at all..
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