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’ She chews her lip. ‘Will you…hold my hand? While we walk?’ Her insecurity warms me. ‘I always do,’ I remind her. She bursts into smiling. ‘I know.’ – May 23 The alarm goes off. Its incessant electronic beeping is science’s pure perfection of irritation. I shut it off, blink into the growing morning light, and lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling. This is the day…the first real full day where she’s not mine anymore. The first time that I’m waking up as one of several. The first day where the other is past, present, and future. A whole day of being…not ‘us’…but just ‘me.’ Of her having had and continuing to have intimacies and experiences that I have no part to play in. Of being the husband, but no longer the lover. What happened yesterday? I don’t know much about it. Not much in the way of detail was offered or desired. Well, that’s not entirely true. How anyone could not wonder, I don’t know. But what will happen tomorrow? A year from now? i’d very much like to know. I’m. She was actually mostly thinking of the future. She remembered the first time she had sex, thinking her boyfriend at the time had a huge penis, but it was actually average sized, around six and a half inches and of normal thickness. Besides the initial penetration, there was no other discomfort, and aside from inexperience on both sides, it was a relatively positive experience though she did not cum; he did though.She also remembered the time when they visited the adult video store on the outskirts of her hometown and bought her first dildo. They stood there embarrassed and in complete awe at the selection and had no idea where to start and what to choose. Sure, there was also the leering group of older men looking her up and down throughout the entire experience, but that secretly turned her on in some weird way. It wasn’t until a scantily clad, older woman walked by them on the way to the video booths and pulled a seven inch dildo off the display, handed it to her and said.
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