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Are you feeling a little better?”“I dunno,” she admitted. “A little, I guess. You want me to do one of those lists?”“That’s not for me to decide,” I told her gently. “I think it’s a good idea, though. Even if I never see it, do it for yourself,” I encouraged her. “Be honest about what’s happened and go back as far as you think you need to. Tally it all up and see how you feel about it once you can see how much there is. Do another list if you feel you did things you need Beck’s forgiveness for. If you show us, that’s your choice. If you don’t, then you’ll have to shoulder it alone. If you talk about it, you can get a different perspective on what happened. The only thing I want you to promise is not to hurt yourself.”She looked up, shocked. “You think I’d...” she whispered, horrified.“I wanted to ... when I was at that point,” I told her. “Some days the only thing that held me back was a promise I made to my girls not to. They were deliberately hurting me every day, but I kept that. I had been to the bar to refresh our drinks yet again and on the way back when I noticed that a couple of the students had engaged Jenny in conversation both were big well built Black guys whom I would guess were about 20 years old they were getting on like a house on fire with my missus, all of them were laughing and were like old friends, when I arrived they introduced themselves and Jenny explained they had been helping her with a stiff catch on her recliner, a likely story I thought but said nothing and settle back down with my beer, the boys did not make any effort to leave so Jenny and I continued to chat with them for some time as their eyes roamed over Jennys curves and the sexual innuendos became a part of the conversation, most surprising to me was most of it was originating from Jenny who also seemed to spend most of her time gazing at the crotches of the guys. Over the next hour or so we drank continually and the conversation flowed freely, eventually 2 more of the.
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