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Looking back, I missed so many opportunities to wreak havoc and have fun… wasted times. The first time something happened, sometime after my 16th birthday, I was at one of those popular kids’ parties, you know, the type that all the cool kids get invited too. I really don’t know how I came to be there, luck of the draw I guessed. I was sitting on a couch, sulking around (I wasn’t really a party animal, I preferred the movies over clubbing) when I saw Trisha, the hottest Eurasian chick in the school, move onto the dance floor. She was amazing, like one of those super models that you see on soap operas now days, I couldn’t stop watching. I ran outside into the garden, just to get some air and to clear my nerves from her heavenly image when my body started tingling all over. I thought it might have been the single beer I had, but alas when I looked at my hands, they started to turn long and feminine. By this time I was so freaked out that I had to leave, I jumped into a cab, my pants. Living along the ‘Bible Belt’ did not help me either. I had a lot going on in the summer – take care of the kids, High Ropes activities, cleaning, dish duty, and well care for myself as well. I did not have a whole lot of time to assess this part of myself or even begin to comprehend it. All these feelings just kind of lived on in me and I kept going – kind of putting them off to deal with at another time. I think, subconsciously, I knew it was neither the time nor the place (especially around such people) to begin to comprehend what I was going through. Molly started to date an international camp counselor from England that worked with us. He was smart, sweet, kind of reserved, and well a soccer player. What more could she want? He even had a similar name to mine – Jack. I’m Jackie. How much more aggravating could this get?! I already knew where she stood on the subject of homosexuals. I found that out on the first day!! Did Molly ever notice my feelings for her? I wonder. I don’t.
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