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Ohmygod. Dearsweetjesusholyshitfuck! It worked! She shot up into a sitting position, held up her hand and marvelled at the sight of her wriggling fingers. It wasn’t until after a few seconds that she realised that she had moved so much more than just her fingers in the process. It was too much for her. Just too much. She couldn’t keep anything in now. Tears welled up in her eyes and butterflies danced in her heart. She giggled hysterically, cried like a child and her face was a three-way tug-of-war between confusion, terror and utter untainted joy. She was back. She was free. She WAS. And it scared the shit out of her. She stayed in bed, fearing to stand up, not knowing if there was anyone around her to help her if she fell. Instead she studied the sparse room. Four neutral white walls, her sturdy, comfortable bed and a pair of chairs by the foot. There was a window too, but it was covered by shades. Later she’d pull them open, look out, and see sky. Yes. She was sure of it. It would. ” “She didn’t talk.” “Yeah. I took her to the doctor but I already knew what he was going to say. Brianna can’t talk. My drug addiction cost my baby her voice. Cocaine messes with the neurochemistry of the user. It affects the baby too if the mother is an addict, like I was. There’s so much they still don’t know about the long term effects on…on crack-babies.” Samantha broke down again in a fit of sobbing and John held her, tears rolling down his own cheeks. John knew a few things about cocaine. It was a dopamine transport blocker, inhibiting the natural dopamine recycling process in the brain. Dopamine effects the pleasure centers of the brain and the resulting buildup of it from cocaine caused the familiar ‘rush’ that addicts were hooked on. Unfortunately, the body would learn to cope with the unusual circumstances and build a resistance to the dopamine buildup. Normal levels of dopamine from simple joys would no longer be enough to trigger the pleasure response and hence the.
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