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"Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. And because all you have is Obamacare, she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."This one is compliments of RabbiRabbit1. I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.2. The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.She's 25, and her name's Candy.3. Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50.It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.4. My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."5. The cost of. It seemedappropriate. Not the name, but the introduction. I had never met her.I consider myself a professional. I do not get involved with clients orcolleagues as a strict rule. But nor am I without sexual drive. Ifound that despite my rules and everything I knew about this person,that was attracted to her, for that is what she seemed to be. It threwme, I have to say it. But such feelings are as strong in a lesbian andin anybody else.I introduced myself and, using my notes, the other three Afghan women inthe room with me.There was an exchange in their language. It was clear that this personwas immediately accepted as female."They started speaking to me in Pashto, but it seems that Dari is abetter language for all of us," the translator explained. The knowledgeof both languages did not surprise me. The easy ability to communicatedid, a little. I have used many interpreters over my years in the job,and few had the ability to involve me in the conversation such ashappened.
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