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As the evening progressed and it got late the women started leaving and soon it was down to the small blond (her name was Gail), a brunette named Joan and me. Joan asked me what time I needed to be home to the wife."The wife?" I see the ring." Oh yeah, the ring" I said and then I pulled it off and put it in my pocket.Gail laughed and said, "Most men would do that before coming in here. So what time do you have to be home to her?" I won't be going home to her. She replaced me with several others." Several others" asked Joan. "Not just another guy, but several?"I took a sip of my vodka tonic and then I told them the whole sad story."Your wife sounds like a size queen" Gail said."Size isn't all that it is cracked up to be" Joan said, "and I ought to know. My ex had eight and a half, but he didn't have a clue as to how to use it. He thought putting it in was all it took." Why didn't you teach him" Gail wanted to know."Well he didn't know how to use it but he used it a lot. There was. Somewhere . . . found it! A long coil of washing line, not the plastic zed stuff, so it was really about 200 ft of rope.I returned to Tania and showed her the rope, she checked it over and pronounced it as okay to use. She then instructed me in cutting the rope into lengths – which left a very long piece left over. The noise of the washing spinning made me wait so that I could move her damp clothes into the tumble dryer to dry off.“Where would you like to be tied?” I asked her.“How about your bedroom?” Tania said smiling at me, happy that she had won.I took her hand and we walked upstairs. I opened my bedroom door. “Shish! It’s a trash heap in here!” She said wrinkling up her nose.“Well . . . I live alone, so there’s no need for me to waste time cleaning up after myself. I take it that madam doesn’t agree with her choice,” Tania shook her head, “Well there’s always room number two!” I said in my best game show host voice.Now I had not been in this room for years. To be honest I did.
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