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I was having the problem of revealing my subconscious thoughts and desiresout in the open. One very embarrassing occurrence was when my sister'shusband Shane was preparing to take a photo of his 7 year old daughter, hiscamera was pointing in what appeared to be my line of sight so when hesaid, "Smile Princess" I thought he was talking to me. I gave a huge smileand was overjoyed at the affection and attention. My face turned red when Irealized that he hadn't been talking to me and that I had accidentallyexposed a sissy desire in front of my family. That was especiallyembarrassing since Shane is 6 foot 3 and 210 pounds. So in front of thishuge guy who is my sister's husband I was behaving like a happy little girlwho had gotten a big man to call her something special. I still don't knowwhy I did that. It happened so fast. And even if his camera was pointing inmy line of sight, why did I think that "Princess" was in reference to me?Do I secretly yearn for men to talk to me like I am a. 'Truthfully! I know you liked me back then.''Truthfully? I suppose the simple answer would be fear.'The tiny woman laughed. 'You were scared of little me. I know I have a bit of a temper but I couldn't hurt a great bear like you however hard I'd tried.''A bit of a temper?' I grinned. 'No, not really fear of you, though it was a concern. I mean I was scared of rejection, scared of ridicule and most of all, scared stiff of girls, especially beautiful ones. It wasn't until the last year at school and later at college that that changed.''In hindsight that probably sums up all the boys at school, or at least all the nice ones. I wish you'd asked though, I'd have said yes.''What if I asked a little belatedly?'It took a few seconds but she caught on. 'I'd love to, or at least I would if I didn't already have a boyfriend.' She said with a touch of what looked like sadness.'Oh sorry! You never mentioned a boyfriend.'The conversation stalled at that point so after a while of silence, we decided.
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