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The dim lighting combined with the sexual tension and the rich food and wine made me feel more relaxed than I’d been in a while, and Steve and I started opening up to each other about our lives. I eventually got around to talking about things at work, and how worried I was about losing my job, with all of the responsibilities I had, I often get panic attacks about where my life is going, though I didn’t share that part with him. I did tell him about my overwhelming fear of failure, and how the situation at work along with some things in my personal life had really gotten me down recently. He seemed to relate really well, being as ambitious as I was. I listened to him talk about the death of his parents when he was very young, the way he practically raised himself since the age of 16, and how far he’d made it on his own. I felt very close to him during and after our conversation. After dinner, we decided we were both a little too tipsy to even think about rock climbing, so we picked. Nor could they look at it and guess that I had been anything but a more than willing participant. I was smiling and returning his kisses and after a moment he placed my hand on his hard penis. I had wrapped my fingers around it and held it happily.As we watched, Keary reached over and began to loosen the sheet from around my naked body. I shook my head and whispered, "No! Please don't. Oh god, please don't! I can't be naked here with all of you like this. I just can't."He just smiled and said, "Don't be silly Gail. Of course you can. You were naked with us for hours last night. You really seemed to enjoy it. Do you know what I think Gail? I think your subconscious mind is just fine. It's your conscious mind that is all fucked up. You just need to learn how to relax and enjoy life."That sounded almost like something my ex-husband would have said. I didn't believe my ex-husband and I didn't believe Keary.I stopped struggling and allowed Keary to pull the sheet that was my only covering.
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