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Christmas comes once a week in these hills of Colorado. The stars shine bright and the sun shines brighter. Loons call in the evening, deer and squirrels and the occasional bear roam freely during the day. But I roam freest of all. My eyes caught it the second it appeared. First the movement in the woods, then the crunch of the gravel. Then it broke free of the trees and came into full view: a black truck, maybe the size of a delivery van. It drove the quarter mile to my porch and slowed to a stop, squeaky breaks resisting friction’s pull. A dark man in a dark suit, with a burly build and bald head, stepped down from the driver’s seat. “Beautiful evening, Sir,” he called to me in a Jamaican accent. “Your latest shipment is even more beautiful, if I can say.” “You can, Mr. Morgan,” I said, reaching for a handshake, “Wonderful to see you again.” “You have exquisite taste,” he said, leading me to the back of the van. “She is a fighter, Sir. But you will break her. Of this, I have no. I had little money coming in and only my own time as a resource. Though the national picture was looking good for the Republican party, I was not their fair-haired girl. Their money went to more promising situations. We made jokes about trying to spin straw into video cable, but only managing an elephant's tail.As a sidelight, we played word games with my opponent's name. There were many unfortunate possibilities, "Custler Fuck" being the most obvious. I gave strict orders to never use the phrase, even in-house. However, using "CF" in a graphic was fair game, as were any rhyming words (can you believe there was a professional hockey team called the Ducks?). We had contests to see who could come up with the wittiest play on Mrs. Custler's name. My personal favorite was, "No AC to DC", which I had printed on bumper stickers.If it seems childish, it was. Through most of the spring and summer, I was down at least 20% in polling. Since my personal money was also tight, I spent almost as.
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