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You're sweaty. Is that from running or from me?"I held her. Wet and slim, she felt like a fawn in my hands. I answered, "Both."She chuckled, tightening her hug, and both of us finished our shower. As we dried and dressed, she went over the schedule. Fiore at ten. Marilyn at one. Then Marilyn and the Museum of Modern Art or whatever Marilyn wanted, then meet Martha at a deli we'd seen before, and then to Little Italy. She invited Ronnie to dinner with us, but Ronnie said she had a date that night.At my workout, Fiore watched me for a while and seemed satisfied that I wasn't going to try to accomplish in one hour what had taken his students months or years to do. Inside, I was fighting the limits; I just didn't know how to do it, so I went through the movements and stretches Fiore prescribed. I still felt it wasn't enough.I changed into a sport coat and tie at Martha's and she and I walked to a spacious, busy restaurant on Madison Avenue near the American Museum. We ordered tea to. It was not simply being at his children’s beck and call, taking care of little Beth’s needs and finding time to play with Evan while getting the washing and ironing done, the terry nappies cleaned, washed and dried, the shopping with both children in tow, and house cleaning while Evan took his nap in the afternoon. There was no let up in that. But there was the yawning gap at his centre where Gwen had been, and the recurring mourning that always took him by surprise.Apparently he was doing everything right. Beth was putting on weight as she ought to, Evan mostly played happily and the health visitor was on hand to give advice and to assure him he was a wonderful father, but he had never worked so hard or for so long each day; there was no let up.Since ... the event... (he could not bring himself to name his wife’s death) he had not had any time off. His own fault, he realised that: a good number of women had volunteered to babysit, to take the strain, but he had obstinately refused.
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