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Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on your perspective, he forgot that he happened to be holding a very, very sharp switch blade knife. Said knife punctured right in to his left testicle as he grabbed and simultaneously fell to the floor. Blood sprang forth, immediately changing the color of his pants to bright red, and at the same time jacked the volume of Lance’s already deafening screaming to a whole new level.“HHHHYYYYYYAYYYYAIIIIIEEEEEEEOOOOAIIIIOOOYEEEAHHHHHOOOOO!” Lance continued, with careful articulation, “OHCRYSTOHHHOAAAOAIIIIIEEEEOOOO DEEEEAAARRRRGOOOODD FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKINNNNGGGHELLLLLL OOOOOAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH!”The red blood stain around his crotch rapidly grew in size as blood rapidly exited from the knife wound. At this point, Lance was entirely out of commission and no longer posed a threat to a dandelion seed pod, let alone a reasonably strong and somewhat large adult male. The fight had been ended quickly and efficiently, although not without. The upshot was that the attackers did not have a chance, and I wondered who could have been so stupid as to think that they did.The battle lasted only five minutes or so, and most of the would-be assassins escaped simply because they made a point to stay out of reach of the Army spears. In fact, I never had a chance to swing either of my weapons because of the superlative work done by the soldiers. I planned to make a point of that to the pharaoh.The whole attack was a farce, and I could see no point to it. Maybe I would find out later. In any case, the palanquin was lifted, and I helped the pharaoh to his feet. Immediately, several retainers rushed up to brush him off. He suffered through that as only a pharaoh could and stepped back into his seat in the palanquin. The procession resumed with no further delay, and I filled Alquot in on what had happened while we marched to the temples.The very boring ceremonies were finally completed and we reformed the procession to return to the.
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