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What's he like? Hoth, I mean.'Shenthra:'Oh, dad. He's real nice. He has a small kink in his tail where it got caught in the crook of a tree when he jumped out of it ... that was when he was small. That's all that's bad about him, I guess. But, dad ... he's OLD. He's 24, and Mercahn is only 19. Don't you think that's too old for her? I mean. 24, dad!'Me:'Calm down, little one. He's not too old, if Mercahn likes him. Your mother was much older than I was. She wasn't too old, I think ... was she? Let me call Mercahn.' I reached out and found her chatting with Robertson sulHawthorne, about the controls of the ship.Mercahn:'Hello sulGrahhll. We're all glad you're on board and safe.'Me:'SulGrahhll am I? Did you forget who your father is?'Mercahn:'No, dad, I didn't forget. But I'm trying to run everything here on the ship, and I'm keeping everything more formal, like.'Me:'"Like?" I think you've been talking with Robbie too much. You've picked up some of his speech mannerisms. That doesn't. Later I’m sitting in the car and my bum is hurting and my legs are hurting and my good jeans are wet and stink of horse and I’m wet and cold and shivering. And I huddle in front of that tiny little vent in the car which is the heater and I’m slowly recovering from being scared for my life and then Mum says how I had so much fun doing that so she signed me up to do it every Saturday. And when I complain I get told off for being ungrateful and she’s doing all of this for my benefit and so on and so on. And I’m cold and wet and hungry and sore and miserable and my good jeans stink of horse so I yell at her that I fucking hate her. And that’s the first time I ever used the f word in front of either of my parents so when we get home Mum makes Dad give me five smacks on my bare bum. Then Mum makes me stand in the corner of the room like always happens when I’ve been smacked with my red bum on display for the whole family.I don’t think Dad liked smacking me on the bum but Mum made him do it.
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