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It's easier to just wallow in the pain and blame others. My hate was keeping me connected to him I guess. If I am brutally honest, it was a way to keep myself from going through the pain of finally letting go. I see that now. My tears over him turn to tears over myself. The picture that had taken up a permanent residence in my head fades. His cock fucking her blurs. Her squeals silence. All I see now is a picture of myself driving by his house looking for her car, checking his Instagram a million times, stalking her Facebook for any signs of them together. I finally only see myself and all the time I have wasted and I am embarrassed. My next move is I get in my car and just start driving ... to nowhere in particular. I jam my playlist and drive and drive and drive. My mind seems to clear with each passing mile. Somehow, by muscle memory I guess, I find myself in our driveway ... I mean his driveway. I will my body to leave the car and walk up the steps to the front door. I must have. How fucking pathetic. Get your fat arse out of that bed and pull yourself together, man! I feel like an early morning run and YOU are going to come with me."It was still raining as hard as ever and getting colder. Jim wondered why he let Gwen put him through all this misery. Then he saw that magnificent body in front of him running through the storm with the water running all down her and plastering her golden hair to her back and he knew that he would willingly follow her to the ends of the earth and go through any hardship just to keep her love and respect."Who the fuck are you! Don't answer that. You're lovely, that's all that matters!" said Harry to the young man who had sacrificed his clothing to get her to be taken upstairs to make love and remain with him for the rest of the night."I've been to a good few parties in my short, dissolute and very merry life, but that one was magnifique! Thanks to you, you prince among men - whoever you are. Fancy another fuck? Thought not. Men.
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