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Keys?”“Here,” the five-foot-eight, rich brown complected woman dropped the keyfob into his hand.“Wait right here.”Mario returned in the pearl white 2016 Nissan Altima that belonged to his lady. He put on the emergency linkers and hopped out of the car to wheel Ms. Margaret over and help her inside.At home, Margaux got her grandmother situated with a cup of chicken soup and a beer. The woman was comfortable in her bedroom watching reruns of 1970s era sitcoms.Mario held the door open for Margaux at the restaurant. They were seated. He ordered a bottle of a Mexican cerveza. She requested a margarita. “Congratulations,” she pulled a greeting card from her purse.“Aw, babe! You ain’t have to get me nuthin’!”“I wanted to.”“Baby, you all the gift I need!”“Thanks,” she giggled.“Wow,” he gasped. “Thanks, boo!”“You like them?”“Hell yeah! Two tickets to the Bass Pro Shops NRA Night Race!”Mario leaned over the table and kissed Margaux.She said, “I’m glad you like!”“Hell yeah, girl! I’ma dick you. You refuse, what's the worst that can happen? She files for divorce. Well, hey, problem solved!So now most the time I just stay in town. I've learned the preemptive strike. I know all the signs. I keep her overnight bag packed. I run and get it when I see Laura getting that glazed look, holding her hands curled and bent out in front of her. Flecks of foam form at the corners of her mouth and she starts babbling about family. I hand her the keys and give her a kiss, steer her out the door, "Bye honey, have a safe trip, say hi to everyone, see you in a couple... " Days? Weeks? Months? Time, like distance, means nothing to these people.Of course I am a very well behaved bachelor boy. Scruples aside, it's the better bet. Sure I could be in bed with a bimbo having a hot afternoon nap, but it's safer to be lingering over lunch with the newspaper. Laura having left at dawn, they could have hit the eastern seaboard and already be back at the step-uncle's a hundred miles to the south. "Hey.
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