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”I’m like, “Yeah you are, and I’ll prove it to you.”He goes, “Fine. Prove it.”I’m like, “Alright. Do you like porn?”He goes, “Yeah, I love porn. You know that.”I’m like, “Do you only watch scenes with two women together?”“No, I watch a man and a woman making love.”“Do you like the guy to have a small, half-flaccid penis?”He goes, “No, I like big, hard, throbbing cocks.”“Why are you a vegetarian?” I asked him. And it wasn’t even because meat is bad for you.He said that “raising cattle was bad for the planet -- with cow flatulence in the ozone and the clearing of land for the raising of cattle. What are you doing to help the environment?”“I’m eating the cow.”On Deer Hunting:If you ever miss one, it’s because the bullet’s moving too fast.Slow the bullet down to 55 miles an hour, put some headlights and a little horn on it -- the deer will actually jump in front of the bullet.There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who. I then saw to my horror that my best friend was talking to Kate. Hewouldn't normally do so and I could only assume that I was now two votesinto my first performance!"Are you a performer too or are you just a maid?" Bill asked.I tried to sound as feminine as possible and explained that I was a maidand not one of the dancers. They didn't appear to notice that my voicewas in any way masculine. Maybe I should have been more confident aboutmy voice having not been noticed by Dave and Mike."I am going to tell Kate I want to see you dance. I am sure you are notpaid very well to clean the tables and could do with the extra money. Iam doing you a favour," said John.I could not fault his logic I was not being paid well and could do withthe extra money and putting someone in a situation where they could makeextra money was doing them a favour except in this instance it involvedme having to strip which was bound to be humiliating."Thank you," I said, not wanting to make matters worse. I was.
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