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’ “Suitable?” I ask. The barmaid replies, “She lost her husband 18 months ago and although she could do with the money she feels a little vulnerable!”I pull up to a rundown isolated cottage and as I open the gate it drops off its hinges. Not a great start. The corroded brass knocker is almost too stiff to knock! This isn’t going to work so I turn to go. As I creep back to my car the front door groans open. “Jack? Are you Jack?” comes from a female voice. I turn expecting to find a seventy year old widow and to my surprise she is a woman in her late forties or early fifties. She’s wearing an apron, scarf on her head and flour on her face. I should say that I’m 44 and just a regular guy. I don’t have a gym toned body but I’m fairly fit because of my occupation. We shake hands as she introduces herself as Jill. She steps aside and allows me to enter a charming, well decorated cottage; a far cry from the exterior. We have a coffee and I’m invited to stay for a little diner. Over. "Give me a C-T-R. Ohhhh. Ennnn. Electron!"I almost didn't hear what she spelled. I loved watching her move and jump and kick. The sight of her red shorts underneath the skirt thrilled me even if it wasn't at all revealing.Bethany went into another routine. "Avogrado's Number. Avo-Gra-Do. Avo-Gra-Do. Yeah!"I could watch this all night even if the cheers were beyond insipid."What do you think?" she asked.I replied with some spirit. "Even though you're a cheerleader, you're a bigger geek than any of us." G-G-G. Geeeeeeeek!" See?" You're so sweet!" she answered.She cheered several lesser known elements of the periodic table before she finished and sat beside me."Now isn't that better? I don't want you to need binoculars to see me."I inwardly groaned. If only I could see her from very close up."Thanks for the special performance.," I said."What is the dullest element?"I shrugged."Bohrium!"Next week was a home game again. I didn't go. Yes, Bethany would be disappointed but she'd get over.
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