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.”“Don’t what? She’s perfect for you!” Then he went on confidentially, “If you want something on the side, well I can arrange something like that for you, no need for your mother or the young lady to know about such things. (That was the first I had heard of any infidelities between him and my mother, though I can’t say I was surprised.). Come home meet with her, and then you can announce whether or not you want to marry her. She’d make a great match. Her family already has strong family ties to ours, and they are looking for grandchildren.” I felt the last thing on earth my mother would want is grand-children, the very notion, it would make her sound old to herself.Was it any wonder I wanted to get away from all that? He and my mother already had me married off to someone I had never even seen. Or soon would. If not this girl, then the next one they would find at the next Debutante Ball and push her on me. I had no doubt they may have even arranged a marriage for me, and this girl. " What it means?" Doug questioned. "What does it mean?"Shoulders slumping, I let out a defeated little sigh. "It means thatmore has changed than just what I look like." So? Isn't that supposed to be one of the good things about all ofthis; you finally getting to experience stuff you couldn't before?" Douginquired."Yeah ... I guess, but it all just feels so out of my control," Iexplained. "I thought who I was was safe. That no matter what I lookedlike, I'd still have all the same thoughts and feelings, but I don't.I'm supposed to want to kiss girls not boys. That's what I alwaysexpected. That's what seems right. Not this ..."My response elicited a skeptical look from Doug. "I don't know, Erin.I mean, no one gets to choose who they're attracted to, and it'scertainly gonna make you feel different when you just suddenly havethese new ... urges after having nothing like that at all. Other thanthat, though, you've seemed like your usual short-tempered, anti-socialself throughout.".
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