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And, if you DO get some, I'll have Sam dig 'em out with her axe."In short order, the various teams had accomplished their tasks and everything was set. Robert had gathered enough green oak and maple forked yearling branches for every one plus a couple of spares, which he then skinned completely. Pete showed the younger campers how to stack the firewood so that it was within easy reach and how to build a proper campfire with birch bark kindling, small twigs, then larger twigs then small branches and finally larger branches."You see, the trick is to build it properly the first time so that you only need one match. If you screw up, you'll be spending anywhere from a half hour to an hour to get it properly lit. In the meantime, the people with you will be getting colder and colder. It's better to take ten minutes longer at the beginning than lose time, and sometimes your lives, by hurrying up."To demonstrate, he struck a match, held it to the edge of a small piece of birch bark and soon,. That's a good one." Hmmph! You listen to me, young man. I'll not have you disrespect me like that. It may be your birthday, but you're not too old to be sent to your room."My wholehearted laugh caught in my throat and gagged me. I coughed and continued to cough. I could hardly breath with all that freaky in the room. Any second I expected Rod Serling to crawl out of the oven and give me the Heimleck maneuver."Off you go. You can think up there, about what I said, while I clean up this mess. Don't forget to take your presents."Out of sheer incredulity, I stood up, grabbed my gift certificate for Wal-Mart and my three new Gamera DVDs, walked out, up the stairs, and into my room.This had to be part of some secret plot to surprise me on my birthday. I went over the day in my head, trying to detect a pattern.I woke up, heard mom showering, and waited in my bed until she'd left our bathroom. My mind drifted, trying to imagine my mother's firm hips and quart sized breasts, their nipples.
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