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”She rushed into my arms, eyes misting over, and hugged me tight as I held her.“I’m so sorry, Paul,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “I know how much she meant to you.”I nodded; my eyes stung, and I blinked back tears of my own. I shook my head, as if doing so could ward off the tears that were welling up. I was a grown man, I hadn’t cried in years. Many years.“When’s the funeral?” she asked.I swallowed hard. “The day after tomorrow.”“Do you want the girls to go?”I nodded. “I think so. I think it’s ... important.”She nodded and laid her head against my chest again, seeking comfort in the certainty of my body. “I’ll miss her.”“Me too,” I said, my voice raspy with pent-up emotion.My chest was tight and I felt a growing knot in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t want to believe it. A car accident. Just some random thing.Random hurts.Some time later, I don’t know how long, the phone rang. My wife stepped back and wiped her eyes, smiling bleakly at me.I cleared my throat and then. ‘Hey… sweet tea.’ We chat back and forth a bit. She gets my order. I look at pictures on her cell phone. She specifically tells me to stop at a certain point as I’m scrolling through them. We both know I won’t and we both know she told me becuase she wanted me to see the picture of her with no shirt on… and she knew I’d want to see it too. We both casually laugh and call it an ‘oops’, lying to each other… maybe even to ourselves. I finish my meal as slowly as possible. Hard to do. Eating fast has always come naturally to me… but I want to drag this time on as long as I can. I watch her walk back and forth between tables and customers, busting her ass to please everyone. It must be hard to always be so upbeat and nice and cheerful. I’d be terrible at this job. I finally can’t sit there anymore without being obvious so I get up to pay the check. The woman taking my money at the register takes my card and smiles at me… almost knowingly. Are we that obvious when we’re together? I shake.
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