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I'd also like to bring onto stage the three most important people in my life; Julie, Chip, and Becky for were it not for their enviable patience and understanding, I could never have...[LOUD NOISE]MR. COLLINS: ... never have...WOMAN ON STAGE: Michael? What's wrong?MR. COLLINS: Malfunction.[MAN STARTS TO JERK WILDLY, THEN FREEZES.][SCREAMS][TWO YOUNGER BYSTANDERS START TO FLAIL ARMS AND FALL TO THE GROUND]MAN IN AUDIENCE: See! I told everyone! None of you believed me! He's an android!:END FOOTAGE:ROSS CAVITT: So what started out as a quiet, and peaceful evening for hundreds of members of Atlanta's technology sector has turned into mayhem. Standing with me now is Artie Phillips, the man we hear yelling in the audience. Tell me, Artie, what makes you think they're robots and how did this fiasco start?ARTIE PHILLIPS: Thank you, Ross, but my name is Arnie. Anyway, it all started earlier this year. Let's just say Mike wasn't year-2000 compliant and his girl-friend needed my help repairing. My ex-daughter added, "I like feeling stronger even though I'm younger now. And mom, I don't have to be afraid to be outside after dark anymore. You should try it. It's very liberating." My new son whispered the rest in my wife's ear but I overheard. "And you can't imagine the variety of guys in gym class until you've been there. Most of them are more mature than I am right now you know. A lot more mature...." My wife's smile got a little bigger. "How long did you think you could get away with this?" I asked. "Well, she could pass all my classes since she's four grades ahead ofme," my new daughter said to us. "And I could be going to college right now if you didn't want me to live a 'normal life', so I didn't have any trouble with her school work, either. But I'm ready to swap back now. I didn't know this period stuff was so yucky and bloody and emotional." "No way!" My neo-son said, raising his voice for emphasis. "Youwanted to see what it was.
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