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He had Brittany sucked into his web until Mom said, "Charles, that's not so."Britt was embarrassed until I said, "Don't worry, Britt. He does this to everyone."She turned to me and said without a blink, "Just how many girls have you had living with you anyway?"Mom and Dad thought my look was hilarious and I quickly joined in the laughter. I also remembered one of Dad's rules. "Sometimes, it's better to keep your mouth shut!"After lunch, Mom said, "Charles, we need to do some shopping.' Dad looked at Britt and me. Mom said, "Chad knows the rules. He'll explain them to Brittany. Let's go."They left and we started putting up the food from lunch.Brittany said, "What are these rules?"I said, 'First of all, of course, is no sex in the house. Mom and Dad aren't naive and they might assume we're already sexually active. They know I'm horny and you've been exposed to sex in their minds by your parents' actions since the divorce. They might also figure you were turned off to the idea but the. A fake, a fraud, a humbugwoman..." But you have boobies," said the Scarecrow, "Nice ones!" These? You like them?" said Joan, smiling a bit vainly despite herself,"They're really mushrooms of a very special sort. According to myWogglebug friend, who is both thoroughly educated and highly magnified,they are of the species Brestiformis Decupus, which grow way down in theUpsidasium mines. They stick right on and never come off, splicing rightinto your circulatory nervous systems until they're a regular part ofyou..." Like a parasite," said the Scarecrow with distaste."It seems symbiotic enough to me," grinned Joan Jones, looking down ather chest, then she sighed, "But unfortunately it seems that nowhere inthis four-color realm is there anything that can help someone likeme..... down below. Below the waist I'm stuck with what nature inflictedon me. I suppose the gods and goddesses of Oz have their reasons, andperhaps the agony of this false existence---and the scorn I face from myfamily.
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