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And I weep, I cry with joy at being innocent again, at being whole again, I sob heavily as I realize that it was all just a bad dream and my reality, my true life is here in his arms, serving him, loving him, not the banal responsibility of working, studying, and keeping a house for the man who should be caring for me and his son. There is nothing sexual about this vision, this dream of happiness. It is very sensual, and incredibly loving, but his only thought is to chase away my troubles and drive back my fears, not sex. Just as I see myself sobbing and howling away the pain of life in these visions that Payne brings me, I find my own face wet. This is when I waken, leaving the half-dream that had brought those precious moments of peace behind, and now I am free to shed my own tears. I can wail and sob and cry – I can howl and lament to my hearts content. I have a reason – Payne has shown me what my soul aches for yet again, and once more reality reminds me of how far away these. I was naked, seated on the wide window sill of one of the bedrooms in the hostelry, with my legs spread wide apart and my knees up to my shoulders, as Elijah Greenaway, thrusting deep and purposefully inside me, loosed a stream of his seed into my more than receptive vagina. It was not the first time during the night he and I had reached an almost simultaneous climax, crying out together in vociferous delight, and I shuddered in delicious ecstasy as my portal was flooded by his scalding sperm.However, this particular time was different. The warm glow, inside the very core of my being, indicated life had started in my womb.It was also the exact time when the lust, passion, and overwhelming desire I felt for the young man, who had taken me to rapture all evening, turned to unequivocal love.I had not come to the White Hart with any thought of entering into a sexual relationship. I already had a husband, and a lover, and was merely keeping a supper appointment in place of my dear friend.
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