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Patricia's question pulled me back to the present. I tried with difficulty to return her smile. "Well... In some ways maybe..."Patricia nodded, and then looked... what? Uncertain? Caring? It was hard to tell... "Eric?" Yah?" This week... There's something I need to apologize for..." You think so, huh? My gosh Patricia! The yacht!" Yes, of course... I was so way out of line..."I stared at her. She looked sincere. "You certainly were... Oh heck Patricia. If you're really serious about apologizing, I'll forgive you." Really?! Eric... Thank you. That means so much to me. I felt so terrible... when I woke up the next morning, and realized what I had done..." Huh? Woke up? You mean on Thursday?" Huh? Eric, what do you mean? I mean Friday. What are you talking about?" I thought we were talking about apologies," I replied. I suddenly felt confused. "What do you think you're apologizing for?"Patricia looked around to make sure we were private before replying. "Why, for having oral sex with. "How much did Jason tell him?The hand lingers until the driver opens the door for us. I do not discourage his touch.In my room I sit at my dressing table inspecting the woman reflected in the mirror. She is a beautiful woman, even though middle age has come upon her against my wishes. But beauty can be both a curse and a treasure, as I have seen again and again. When my mother's drunken boyfriend slipped into my bed in the middle of the night to rape the beautiful, twelve-year-old version of me, it was a curse. When Jason first set eyes upon me and could not believe that I smiled in return (he knew he was already showing the pattern baldness and pot belly that he would grow into), that was a treasure.I know Tony has been confused about our relationship for many years. I could feel his eyes upon me most days, feel it like a physical touch. I ignored him, of course - not because he was my son, but because I had agreed with Jason that he would be the only man in my life. I never.
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