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I bet I will, She said. I looked around to make sure we were alone, then I told her my story. She sat quietly and listened. She was impossible to read through her dark sun glasses, and she kept a poker face the entire time. When I finished she smiled and hugged me. What do you think? I asked her. I think that if its what you want, that its awesome. That was a relief. Have you seen Ricky at all today? She asked me. I shook my head no. Our only class together was tech theater, the last one of the day. What should I say when I see him? I asked her. Probably nothing. Just wait and see how it goes. She was probably right. I knew Khyla had my back, so I didnt question it. We went back to our usual spot and watched everyone play cards until lunch ended. I walked to fifth period and waited for it to end. Nothing eventfull happened and I walked to my last class: tech theater. I walked into the blackbox and Ricky was already there, sitting in his usual seat. Our eyes met for a second and he. "She snuggled closer, pinned me under a leg and an arm. "I love you. Ieven love saying it. I love you, Phil."And if I could have made that moment and that feeling last then I thinkI could have gone on living a male lie. If she had worked in an officeor a shop somewhere and I was going to see her every weekend and everyevening I could maybe have made a determined effort to be Phil. But shedidn't and I knew I couldn't - not after what I'd experienced.Perhaps I could have waited to tell her until some time had passed, whenmaybe her passion had cooled or her Juliette pain had faded some more,but that didn't seem right either. So there and then, with our love foreach other spoken aloud I stroked her hair, kissed her nose and toldher."Nina, this might be a bad time..." She stiffened as though I was aboutto say there was somebody else, so I pushed on. "I'm going to be awoman."That breath she'd held came out long and slow."Rather, I'm going to live as a woman. I already am one - inside.".
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