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I never thanked you or appreciated you, and in return for everything you did for me, I got you hurt so badly – tortured and maimed – and yet I still felt it more important to sort out my feelings than to talk to you. How could you ever forgive all that? I’m an awful person. Even my psychiatrist thinks so, I’m sure.“He says you might have a good knight syndrome or something, to do all that and still tell me you love me.”“It’s White Knight – and I don’t do that anymore. I’m a lot more careful now.”“You see – I’ve destroyed even that,” she was crying really loudly now. Boots was sitting at our feet, looking very disturbed. “After my parents ... and then you – you could have all died thinking I didn’t care.”I decided to give her a hug. It wasn’t a White Knight thing, not anymore. It was just one human feeling empathy for another. I drew her in, and all five of my senses lit up with pleasure. Shit!“Summer...” I started.“Oh, I really miss you calling me that,” she sniffled against my. Two; it’s not serious; you’re only having fun. Three; you’re not hurting anyone. Four; you’re on the pill so there won’t be any accidents. Full marks for your gullible Mother?”In my case she could have added that I was head over heels in love, desperately wanted to marry my brother, have dozens of his babies and spend the rest of my life with him. Like so many girls, I hoped and prayed that Mark felt the same; that all he had said to me in bed and out had been more than just words.But whatever he really felt about me, we had both agreed that Mum would find our relationship easier to cope with if she believed it was only physical and likely to be short-lived, so all I said, rather bitterly was.“You’ve missed one.”“Have I?” Mum replied. “Oh yes. Number five; it’s better to experiment in the safety of home with someone you trust rather than play the field and get a reputation like Caroline Buckley.”That was another deliberate exaggeration I had used to try and keep Mum onside. My friend.
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