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I figured that all of that would probably do the trick. My blood pressure before I left the house was 112/60.Despite all of this however, I felt anxiety creeping in as I drove to the clinic. What would happen if it were high again? I obviously could not count on sympathy from the nurse as a given factor. What would I do if I lost my pilot's license? I didn't know how to do anything else. I'd end up a street bum or worse.I checked in at the front desk of the clinic and sat down to await being called. The Valium was working on me; I could feel it trying to mellow me out, but the anxiety was stronger. I willed myself to relax. If my pressure was low at home, it could be low here too. The only thing working against me was my own traitorous body, which was pumping adrenaline out into my blood like I needed it to live.The anxiety worsened once I was called and placed in an exam room. I sat on the table, looking around at my surroundings, fidgeting nervously. There were anatomical charts. Three minutes flat, actually. I timed it.The beach was broad, flat, and one of the whitest beaches I have ever seen and between my father and me, I have seen many beaches over the years. The skies were blue the entire time, the hotel was beautiful, and that was the first time I realized my father was a pedophile.By this time in my life, I was becoming aware of a few things. I knew a little about sex, due to Health Class. I knew a little more about condoms, the pill, and IUD's. I knew about my period, which would come soon, and I knew about AIDs and STD's, all of which scared the living crap out of me as I entered puberty.The next moring, I was more than a little surprised to realize that during the night, I bled between my legs and I knew I was a fertile woman, but that's all I knew.Upon awakening, my father knew something was changed and he asked.I told him I thought I was having my first period and he did not hesitate. He picked the phone, ordered up the appropriate size tampons.
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