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Honestly, it’s not. Okay, yeah, if she was twenty stone with a face like a horse then maybe I’d not be quite so keen on the whole touchy-feely thing. But Jadie would still be one awesome girl. She’s funny, for starters, she’s got an unusually crude, juvenile sense of humour. She likes word-play too, we’ve bantered about together ever since she was a kid, and her vocabulary can make it sound like she’s ten years older than she really is. There is one word which seems to be missing from that vocabulary, mind: Inhibition. Probably something to do with all that porn she used to watch, growing up. She’s clever, too. More than that, actually. She’s ridiculously intelligent, picking up a whole string of A’s and A-stars from her GCSEs and, more recently, her A-Levels. Next summer, she’s off to California, having won a place on an undergraduate programme at one of the most prestigious universities in the world. So, yeah, she might look a bit like your typical dumb Essex-girl (although not so. "At the pharmacy, Harold wandered over to the large condomdisplay as I approached the druggist in the back The man in thewhite lab coat gazed at me curiously for a moment, then smiled andwent to fill the order. He probably assumed I was in menopause andneeded a little help getting through it. I'm sure he neversuspected that the prescription was really for my nephew."Here you are, Harry," I said as I handed him the bottle ofpills. "They were very expensive, so don't forget to take themregularly." I'll remember," he nodded. "Thanks, Aunt Milly." No need to thank me," I smiled. "I'm just doing what's bestfor you."And so it began.PART TWOIn the weeks that followed, Harold became more and more of adiscipline problem. He started taking everything for granted,never offering either thanks or apologies when due, and in frontof his surfer friends, whom he sometimes brought over for a quickvisit, he was downright rude to me. He was indeed learning tosurf, but he was still a beginner, and he.
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