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A body is a body. You lose your anger when you see them all still. There’s a ratchet thing in our brains that counts. We have this idea that if you kill enough of them there will be no more to hurt you—but there always are . . . and we know that. We have to play these head games to keep from screaming. We are neurotic . . . perhaps sometimes a little psychotic. Aid to the civil power—that’s what we’re doing. All we want to do is get drunk, get laid, sleep for eons. Sleep is the elusive angel of our lusts. We never get enough sleep. We never have enough men. Everyone laughs at us – the IRA, the RUC, the protestants, the Catholics. We never do anything right. We are too little too late. And now Riley is dying – this big 40-year-old man gutshot and I’m just a kid. It could have been me but it’s not and I don’t want to be gutshot either. Through and through in the upper arm maybe . . . a no-boner in the fleshy part of the thigh . . . perhaps a little side-shot – like a modern version of. Ted had a cock.So, Ted stood with his pants around his ankles, I looked at his bulge inside of his white briefs. I reached out and rubbed his package. As I did this he undid my belt buckle and opened my pants. His hand reached into my opened fly and started to fondle my cock."Nice, oh so nice." Ted mumbled as he pulled my underwear down, "I love your white briefs, they are so sexy." He told me. Ted went on, "What a wonderful penis, I like your cock." He was now stroking me."Play with mine! Get it out and touch it, please." he pleaded, almost whining.I have to admit that I wasn't thrilled, I got hard and we sucked each other he blew a load in my mouth and jacked me off until I shot a load into his white underwear. I felt empty and disappointed. It wasn't like back at the school, those guys were hot.So I walked home and ate dinner. Watched some television and wondered if this was all life had to offer me, a middle aged mommy's boy. I didn't sleep well that night and I didn't have a.
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