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In the darkness a robotic voice can be heard, speaking with a mechanical Oriental accent. Foo-Kin Ting: At the. Aurora Borealis. Take the. Third. Star. On the. Right. Mary Christmas: What did it say? Third right by the star? Carole: I dont know, I thought he said turn right by the star. Foo-Kin Ting: Third. Star. On the. Right. Are you. Fucking. Deaf. Or. Something? Mary Christmas: Oh great, just what we need. A Sat-Nav with attitude. Bastard. Foo-Kin Ting: Stuck. Up. Bitch. Mary Christmas: What was that? Foo-Kin Ting: I. Said. I. Have. A. Glitch. Mary Christmas: Not another clever cunt. Carole, throw the bloody thing overboard! Foo-Kin Ting: No. Please. Dont. Carole picks up small box of electronics. Mary Christmas: Carole – just toss it off, will you? Foo-Kin Ting: Oh! In. That. Case. Please. Do. Carole throws the box off the side of the sleigh. Foo-Kin Ting: AIIIIEEEEEeeeee! Carole: But how are we going to find our way now, what if we get lost? Mary Christmas: Dont worry, we. Chelsea and Mary went straight off into their room claiming they needed showers, leading Len and I to swap conspiratorial glances. We had only a minute to wait before the crash and the shout of "Fucking Cock-Sucking Bastard" that revealed that it was our beloved sister who was the victim of the oldest trick in the book.Within seconds a drenched Chelsea came storming out of her room wrapped only in a pale blue towel. To my surprise she ignored Len totally and came heading straight at me, eyes burning fire and mouth inventing swears by the dozen. I tried to protest my innocence while my parents and Gene looked on bemused and Mary stood against the doorframe of their room with an amused look on her face.Chelsea went to grab a throwable text-book of Len's that was placed on the edge of the table. As she reached out her arm, Len, quick as a flash, leapt from his seat, grabbed her towel and sprinted off into his room, locking it as he went.It took my sister a few seconds to process what.
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