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What were you thinking about?"Why do you want to know?" I asked. I purposefully sounding annoyed at her but I was more annoyed at myself for getting caught."Just curious," she said. "I'm 14, you know. I like boys. Since you're a boy, I thought it might be okay to ask you even though you are my brother. So why you are hard now?" I wasn't thinking about anything." I'm not stupid. You had to be thinking about sex."Oh Tammy, if you knew the perverted thoughts your brother had you wouldn't want to know."I was thinking about Melissa. You know, the cheerleader." You like her?" said Tammy surprised.I shrugged and said, "Yeah." You mean Melanie?" Yeah." Isn't her name Michelle?"Doh!"Right. Yeah." Was it someone you saw on TV?" she asked. "Barney?"Barney was in the midst of his sickening song. I flipped the channel. I wanted to feel better not worse. On TV was a man and woman who demonstrated a "revolutionary new kitchen chopper". They were chopping up a sausage. I winced.Mom came home at. I got a fish market to pick up, just down the coast in Belfast. I asked him to call the Coasties as someone was trying to shoot my ass. He took down my Skype number and promised to call it in right away. Pretty soon I got an incoming call. It wasn't the Coast Guard, but it was the next best thing—the State Police. I described what was happening, including the fact that my cell phone service was down. They wanted to know the registration numbers on the boat. I had a spotting scope (that had seen better days) in my office. I laid it on the window casing for stability and took a look. I got 'ME-ARJ' then the trees blocked the rest. I told the nice man what I'd seen and verified that they were still shooting at my place. They thanked me and said someone would be right out.Not forty minutes later a Coastie smuggling interceptor laid a line of machine gun bullets before the bow of the boat. The one that had been using my place for target practice. I wandered down to the beach and yelled.
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