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I was sure Howard would see that this was important to me and that he wouldn't deny me my need. He's never denied me anything I really wanted before. Why did he react so dramatically this time?I had to rethink my situation. I love Howard. I know I do. But I need some excitement in my life. I'm nearly fifty and I need this. I need someone to help me feel alive and desirable. God knows, Howard is a wonderful lover. He fills me so completely and he is so thoughtful with me. I couldn't ask for a more considerate husband. But ... I need more.I've really made a mess of this. I've alerted him to my intention. I've stupidly caused him to doubt me. There is no way I can indulge myself if he is watching me closely. Why did I have to warn him? What kind of fool am I? I've just made it that much more difficult to have an affair.I've already made up my mind. I'm going to do this. I've just had a bad start. A poorly chosen strategy. I have to step back and rethink what to do.As I wandered through. I may be old but I am not dead and my cock stood to attention saluting the image in front of me, he however could not see me as all cabin doors to balconies are mirror glass preventing people seeing in.I stayed still barely daring to breath as I drank in the beauty of the boy not wanting him to hear me and move away. I refrained from touching myself knowing my staying powers were no match for him or Jess come to that.After some minutes he moved away and I breathed deeply closing my eyes retaining the vision. Thinking I really really hope this is not all a dream as I drifted off for a seniors nap.A gentle knock on the inter connecting door brought me from my slumbers and I looked at the clock as I called out “come in.”Chuckling Jess entered followed by a now dressed Tammy wearing boy clothes that were befitting a pretty Tomboy.Jess proceeded to outline their plans for the rest of the day and asked if I would like to accompany them to which I replied that I would meet them for dinner.
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