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The following morning the court jeweller returned. I was placed on the Lady Petrova’s bedside table. The jeweller positioned a d****d figure beside me and removed the d****ry with a swift gesture. To my eyes it was a crude caricature of my person. The dimensions were correct, the attire very precisely copied since both the garments I was wearing and those on the figurine were the products of Brobdingnag but the features were very crudely drawn. Even allowing for personal vanity I could not recognise my face in the chiselled physiognomy of the replica. The Lady Petrova and Griselda seemed satisfied that this was indeed a veritable duplicate of my humble self and commended the jeweller to display it to her Majesty the Queen forthwith.The jeweller left thanking them profusely for their aid and assistance. He had also brought some other parcels that had been commissioned from him by the Lady Petrova. I must admit that I am as curious as any other mortal man so I endeavoured to enquire. "Hey! Be careful. That's my calling card."The table hadn't hit the wall because a petite girl had stepped out of the shadows and caught it. She was wearing an old fashioned telegram delivery girl's costume. Her long red hair spilled out from beneath a little peaked cap. The face beneath was pale and delicate, elfin almost. While her face looked delicate, Kurtzberg couldn't fail to notice how her uniform strained to cover her ample chest."Who are you?" Kurtzberg asked. "What are you doing here?"How had she got into his flat?The elfin-faced girl smiled."I'm here to deliver your Valentine's Day present," she said. "Me."She started to unbutton her uniform, revealing the inviting chasm of her cleavage beneath.Was this a continuation of Jacob and Greg's practical joke? Kurtzberg thought. Had they hired a tart to inflict further humiliation on him? Were they outside right now, waiting for the most incriminating moment to burst in, camera phones at the ready?Then the girl stepped forward and.
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