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.but to her it was also a day of remorse; a dayto weep.She felt her eyes swell as the thought poured through her mind. Pickingup a rock, she rose from her seat on the edge of the lake. Stiffeningher back, she aggressively moved her right arm back and then lungedtoward the water, tossing the rock into the deep."No.", her mouth quivered as her eyes streamed with tears. Withoutthinking about it, her knees fell to the ground. "Why me? Why him?Please, oh please great Goddess of Life and Hearth, please let him be.Let him grow up to be the man he has but dreamt of in his crib. The boyis nothing but a babe, a gift from you to me; a gift of friendship, andwithout his, I am but a broken vessel in your midst. Please sweet lady,I beg you..." The wind mourned for her, almost as if it knew of hersadness, but she knew better than to expect an apparition from agoddess...the gods never answered her prayers.She pondered the thought as she exasperatingly sat herself back onto theedge of the. "I was giving my boyfriend handjobs and I let him finger me. I figured we'd do it when I got back from camp, but by then he was dating someone else. I didn't have a replacement before dad decided I should come to New York."Soon we were studying together after school, either at her apartment or mine. We discovered common interests in politics (liberal), music (folk), and art (pop and abstract). We puzzled about the world our parents inhabited — activist politics, civil rights, dinner parties, the newest books and movies — but mostly she carried on about sex."Janey Bernstein is really going out with that dope from Dalton? What's she see in him?" I asked one day, puzzled why Janey was mooning around and sighing a lot."Probably a big cock," Ann leered, and I blushed. She was so direct it made me uncomfortable."I can't stand this sex talk all the time," I grumped at Ann one day. "Why don't you DO something about it?" C'mon, Laura. I've been here less than a month. It's Christmas. I've got.
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