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We are about to start a competition neither of us is sure about who might “win”. Is win even the right word?The competition – the first one to have to give in and pee, the toilet down the hall being out of bounds! The loser will have an accident in their pants, sat there in the kitchen. The “prize” for the winner is to give the first one to fail to hold his water, an over the knee spanking.Neither of us knew what each other has already had to drink that day or when they last went to the toilet. Already we have each drank one full pint of cold water and from the agitated movements and the inability to sit still the impact is becoming obvious. You are wearing lose light grey sweatpants and I’m in more uncomfortable tight blue jeans.We are on our second pint now and the conversation is getting a bit less frequent as we become distracted by the need to piss. Whilst I am able to stay seated, already you are having to move around on your seat, occasionally standing to find some relief.. Devoid, in fact, of any personality.”“So what,” began the man, whose name Gerry still hadn’t been able to determine.“I just said I’d investigate.” Gerry’s hurried interruption didn’t seem to phase his interlocutor.“And what did you investigate?” The man’s voice seemed to have got icier.“Well, nothing. I basically already knew.”“And you say this was two weeks ago?”“Yeah, the last Saturday in April.”“And you’ve only just said something now? Why is that?”“Um. Well, I wasn’t certain who to talk to. I asked someone in the party,” he didn’t need to say which party, both men knew he was referring to the all but defunct British National Party. “They said come here.”The response was a glare.“In any case, he’s over seventy and I didn’t think it mattered that much anyway.”“Over seventy? Oh. So now you’re wasting my time. Go away.”“He were in the army.”The cold face came up again fast. “What?”“He was in the army. Him an’ his mates.”“Which regiment?”“Dunno. He doesn’t like to talk about it. Says.
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