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She had to have a date. She would’ve been too embarrassed going by herself. And she wanted to go. I gotta admit, she did dance pretty close though.’ ‘See what I’m saying. You probably could’ve laid her that night.’ ‘Well, I didn’t have the use of the car at the time. We walked.’ ‘It was warm. Ya could’ve taken her to the park and done it behind the band stand.’ ‘Oh Frank. Ya gota be kidding. If I ever do it, it’ll be under the right circumstances, but I don’t think it’s ever going to happen.’ ‘What was the other date you had? I can’t remember.’ ‘Oh it was two years, ago with Eleanor Reese. She asked me to go to a movie.’ ‘Another opportunity squandered!’ ‘Let’s be serious.’ ‘I am being serious little brother. We’re both pretty good lookin’ guys. And you can tell from seein’ other guys in the locker room, we’re both damn well hung. No, your time’ll come. Believe me. But you’d better start carryin’ rubbers. Ya don’t want to get carried away and knock some girl up. You’d have to quit. Every generation had some silliness going on—bathtub gin, hallucinogenic drugs, pyramid schemes—why not hers? This was off the charts, though. She had lost her job, and she was bedded down most of the days on a saggy old mattress using her health problem as a reason to atrophy mentally and physically. I had known that this chronic illness was going to be bad, and it was, but this was not really about illness of the body. It was mental and spiritual illness. Scanning her house was horrifying. What a disaster! The filth! It was a downright health hazard, no kidding! We’re not talking clutter that makes it hard to keep organized. I mean grunge, leaks, stink, mildew, spoiled food, and pet waste. My mind raced to discover if I had been at fault here. How did everything get so out of control? I had underestimated this fad, the Internet. This was like putting nuclear defense systems into the hands of 7th grade boys, 30-ish women with PMS, and 45 year-old balding men. This catastrophe was.
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