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You live up there all alone in that great big place, or is there a guy in the picture?’ She sighed. ‘My husband. I live there with my….husband.’ I shot her a look. ‘Why the long pause?’ She shook her head. ‘Why do you care? Why do you want to know? What’s with all these questions?’ ‘Look, lady,’ I replied. ‘I don’t know who you are, but when a dame I don’t know jumps into my car and demands to go to Helmsley Mansion, I want to know who she is, and why we’re going there.’ I paused. ‘And I wouldn’t mind knowing who’s chasing her.’ She was still. ‘What do you mean? No one is chasing me!’ I nodded casually. ‘Ok, fine,’ I replied. ‘You say no one is chasing you, so no one is chasing you. I tell you what, though, Helmsley Mansion is a bit out of my way so how about I drop you off on the next corner….’ ‘Oh Mr. Barkley, stop it!’ She cried. ‘Yes, someone is after me. I’m so scared, please, can’t you take me home?’ ‘Look lady, you need to start talking. I’ve got a pretty good idea of who you. "And then what?"I was thinking ahead and wondering how they could convert me back tosomething slightly more masculine. I was fairly certain that it wouldinvolve some surgery and probably some long term medication but that Iwould happily accept."Well, we still have to see how you end up. Once you have hopefullystabilised, then we can assess what we can do next to help you. In themeantime you will have to carry on as is, I'm afraid. We will pay allyour clothing bills and you'll keep an allowance covering all your otherincidental expenses for as long as necessary."I suppose, if I had been so inclined in the first place and had beentransgender or trans-sexual or a transvestite to start with, I would havebeen happily milking the fund for everything I could get, but that wasn'tthe case. I didn't want all these changes. No way!The fact of the matter was that, with a little bit of nail care, acosmetics course and some training in behaviour, I could and would passfor a very well-endowed woman.
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