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Jenny had stopped writing to pay attention while Peter spoke, then she returned to her sums and (a sure sign of her deep thinking) began tapping the pad with her pencil. The discussion, accompanied in the background by Jenny’s scribbling and tapping, ebbed and flowed without progress, despite solid interjections by Peter and requests for clarification by David. Some time later, Jenny stabbed an emphatic full stop on her notepad and underlined her final entry. She raised her head to see everyone looking expectantly at her. ‘Sorry,’ she said, ‘I’ve not been following all the discussion. What happened after Peter’s proposal was rejected?’ ‘It’s been an impasse ever since, I am afraid.’ David answered: ‘My compromise is utterly rejected by Sam. You still reject Sam’s second proposal, I suppose?’ ‘If it is the same, then I do so, emphatically.’ ‘And because Peter’s idea might cost you and Sam more (or because it is kind to Horace Culpepper, I am not sure which), Sam rejects it just as. You once presumed I had a prurient interest in Charlie. Like I’m a fucking pederast. Maybe you should have looked in the mirror instead.”Joe pressed back into his seat as if kicked in the chest. He took a breath. And thought about Essie. The beautiful girl. The woman. Remembering her sensibility. Her choices, unlike those of him and especially Cheryl, of being with those she actually wanted to be with, whom she loved. Excluding herself from orgies when she wouldn’t be. Understanding her limited enjoyment of women, which seemed to only include those Joe loved, as if that was the only permission she needed to want to be with them. And maybe it was. They were all lovely, loving, remarkable, brilliant women. Love. Was it transferable? Did Essie prove that? That she loved his wives because he did? Embracing them because he embraced them? Welcoming them because he welcomed them? Like a deep empathy that only love could reach. Enough to change her mind and her taste buds and her very.
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