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He says he's totally infatuated." He hasn't pushed you into bed?"Martha giggled. "No. He wants me to be sure. And today he just started talking about getting married." That's bad?" I was puzzled."I don't want to make him into an outcast, married to a half-breed." You see it that way? Is it our fault?" Weena took her hand."No, no. You've been great. And so have your friends. They just treat me like a person." Well, you are." In Brisbane we were separate — and that meant bad." What's Angus going to do when he leaves Perth?" Oh, he's got his Master's. And a job offer from Wollongong." Wollongong?" In NSW-- ... about an hour south of Sydney," I responded."How would you get to where his parents are?" asked pragmatic Weena."We'd fly to Sydney. His parents would pick us up from the airport." Right. I guess Tamworth's two or three hours." That's what Angus said." Do you love him?" Weena probed."I don't know. I don't know what 'love him' means. I've never felt like this." Do you want to go?. Plus, she knew, he had gotten what he wanted. Maybe they had used each other? But I didn't use him, she thought. Just because we did it didn't mean I used him. It just happened, she thought, we both got pleasure out of it, and that's that.She pushed away any guilty feelings, telling herself that people had casual sex all the time, so why shouldn't she? Why should she have to deal with love all the time? Sex was a natural thing, and humans were animals, and animals did each other all the time without dealing with love.She could fuck Kasey of course, that would be okay. She felt so free; now that she was "single" she felt like she had been released from something, something which she kept telling herself was false and detrimental.He was different from Ryan, that's for certain. And he liked her too. She hadn't ever pictured herself going out with someone like him. He was popular at his school, she knew, but he wasn't into sports nor really ambitious and motivated like Ryan. Also, Kasey.
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