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And so Ceri and I spent our first night alone in our house. I was set up quite comfortably and had already contacted my employer and told them I’d had my baby and because of it my maternity pay would be rolling into the bank for the next 6 months at least. I sat in my arm chair with Ceri in my lap quietly nursing from me and for the first time he looked up into my smiling face and I felt my tears come. Not from sadness and baby blues but from the huge, all embracing love I felt for my Ceri. Sensing this, Benny was sat in front of me and checking that I was alright, sniffing and snuffling around the blankets that Ceri was swaddled in. With a wagged tail thumping rhythmically on the floor he ‘huffed’ in that way of his and settled back on the floor content that all was well. I thought about heading back to the pool, I knew that Ceri would need a bath soon and could think of nowhere better for him to have his first one. I would do that, thank Arian and Brigid and as Nanna had pointed. It was pretty and it was also nice knowing thatit was Karen's. Karen was a very pretty girl. And to think I had beensucking her breast! I shifted my leg and my bladder now down right hurt.When are the girls coming back I wondered. They really needed to take offmy diaper and let me use the bathroom.The urge to pee was growing steadily to the point where the feeling ofdiscomfort was becoming a constant annoyance. I realized that I shouldhave spoken up before I climbed into the crib. How would the girls haveknown that I had to pee since I didn't say anything? They woulddefinitely have assumed that I'm not so dumb as to really use the diaperto pee in. Worrying about peeing seemed to increase the need to pee and Ibegan feeling some powerful stabs of pain in my bladder. After a fewminutes more I started feeling panicky. What if they didn't come backsoon? A wave of anxiety ran up through my aching bladder that momentarilyfelt extraordinarily pleasing before crashing back into an intense.
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